I have found myself completely obsessed with this crap can racing project my father and I have gotten into. Along with this has come working on the car, racing, writing documents for drivers, compiling a list of things to do on the car, constant reading and posting on the 24 hour of LeMons forum, and a little over a thousand dollars so far. My pops has dumped in a much greater amount of money as when we started I was between jobs, but I am working to get it as close to a 50/50 effort and expense as I can. Though sometimes it can be difficult as my pops is much better with cars, has the thing stored at his house where he is free to work on it as he feels, and he is the one with the motor home we tow it with. The racecar is a piece of shit late 70’s Triumph Spitfire 1500, guessing it is a 1978. Don’t get me wrong, I lovingly call this car a piece of shit. It has been one of the best hobbies, projects, learning experiences, and ventures I have participated in during these strange 30 years of my life. The thing is an absolute blast to drive and is a simplistic car that I can wrap my head around. I am in no way a mechanic, car guru, or professional driver, so it is perfect for someone like me. The whole thing is also great for the father/son bonding, though I won’t drag that out too much as I do not intend this writing piece to be mushy. But with out him I never would have gotten into any of this and I will be forever grateful.
The other guys and gals involved in this nonsense are some of the greatest people I have ever met; though with my horrible memory for names and my tendency to get drunk when the track goes cold, I can hardly name any of them. My apologies... For starters there is Mike aka Spank. This guy is absolutely nuts for the true meaning of this LeMons racing. He comes out with the most horrible slow cars that are but some of the coolest things on wheels I have seen. He was the one who started with my father into this crap can racing when they built the Mr. Bean classic 60’s Mini Cooper (Now the famous Turbo Lemon Mini) with some others from their Mini Cooper car club. This was also the fist crap can car I raced in at a Chump Car race in Fontana. This was the event I really learned how nuts Spank is. As my poor memory serves, we blew 2 motors that weekend over the 14 hours, one of which when I was driving. After the first motor blew, Spank scrambled together the spare motor and we swapped it in. Most of the work he did himself. The second motor died later that day, and he had us prep the motor to be removed while he made a 4 hour round trip drive home to grab another motor that he put together and installed while we slept. Truly a crap can racing hero. There are plenty of others out there with stories and comments on this guy I am sure, so I will discontinue glorifying him.
A notable duo is Crazy Mike and his girlfriend. I have met them at 2 races so far and they are just classic. They drive a VW Vanagon to tow behind it a LeMons racer VW bug. He races when the bug runs, and his girlfriend collects money and cooks for everyone. Without her many of these wrenching nuts would never eat but maybe a candy bar over the race weekends. They are very hospitable fun loving people. Being passed by this guys bug on the track just cracks me up. He also gave me a detailed explanation of what it sounds like driving inside this LeMons bug and it was something in the order of a garbage disposal, machine tools, and having a colander pot on your head while a child bangs on it with large wooden spoons. I am sure that description is not what he told me exactly, but to the effect makes the point.
The organisers, most of the other racers, and their friends and families at these LeMons events are great. People will always lend a hand or tool, and there always is someone willing to throw back a few with you and bull shit about how the hell you ended up in this nutty racing league. The chief perpetrator of LeMons, Jay, appears to love what he has created and from my experience he is never trying to be a dick when he fails you in tech inspection, he just wants your crap can racer to be as safe as it can. Currently he is working with me via pics and email to get our Spitfire to an acceptable level of safety for his head safety tech, as they were only minimally satisfied with it at the last race. Jay's judges for “Bull Shit” factor and punishments are a riot. They know their stuff when it comes to cars and do a rather good job classifying these vehicles and humiliating those who do break the rules. I have seen guys strutting down the pits doing the YMCA dance in their underwear while the tune blasts out of a stereo on top of the safety car that is escorting them around. Why the hell do I not have pictures of this? Personal note, always carry a camera when at the 24 Hours of LeMons events. The stories are endless and I would just have to recommend, if you have any interest, that you go to one yourself. No other way could you understand the insanity involved in these events. Have a look through the forums if you have the time and start here http://forums.24hoursoflemons.com/viewtopic.php?id=13434 I also did not intend this writing to be completely about the people in crap can racing, though it will be a major part of it I am sure for awhile anyways, as the LeMons racing has all but consumed my thoughts recently.
Something important about this day. I am reading the news article about it being the official end of the war in Iraq. I will not comment on what I think about the situation in Iraq and the US involvement, as i do not want this writing to be political or moral. I just feel it is important to note about it on this entry date.
Currently I am working this QA job at a company called Transcore. They work with toll road systems and RFID technology. It is a job that I do, pretty well if I might add, and there is nothing much interesting to say about it. Currently I am contracted, as I have been at all my jobs since 2004 and I get the bills paid. Blah blah blah.
I have a great love life. We live together, currently are not married or engaged, things are good, and we are happy. She has complained to me before about sharing too much of our personal lives so I guess that should be all I mention on this subject. Though I would like to state she went to the LeMons Arse -Freeze Apalooza 2011 to watch us race and even stayed one night in the RV. Once home from this event she has shown interest in driving with us in a LeMons race, but she does not know how to drive a manual transmission and has no racing experince. I am stoked she does not hate this hobby of mine, as lots of women look at it in disgust, but teaching her to drive a stick shift and to be safe in one of these races will prove challenging. Alas, for the greater good, it shall be done.
So I have this friend lets call him Adam, he is in France living with a french girl rent free. He seems to be loving it. I chat with him all day when I am at work. This guy is seriously one of the craziest nuts I have ever met. But he speaks the truth and trolls 4chan with the best of them.. gotta love him. He was kicked out of his last apartment by his room mate, lets call him Ben, because Ben claimed he was always up in his business and a toxic person. Adam also had a restraining order against him from an X girlfriend, but it was bullshit. All he did was yell in an argument, break his own cell phone, and text her like 100 times. They will give a restraining order for any female these days out of fear that if they don’t and she is killed or hurt it falls on them. He is not a bad guy, really... I promise...
Something I want to rant about, fucking reality TV. I don't know what in the fuck is the deal with this shit, but damn seriously... My girl has me watching survivor with her, and man I can not help but get pissed. It is shit like this that helps the world hate us, we go to their country and set up a fucking game about "Surviving" there. Shouldn't the people who live there already fucking win? I would feel much better if we could give them the 1 million dollars, fuck everyone knows the shit fucks who win these shows blow it on worthless crap anyway.
And another thing, this Florida Family Association that is boycotting the American Muslim show because it does not portray Muslims as terrorists... Fuck you stupid douche bags, you're bigots and slow down the progression of mankind, but w/e I guess I should thank you for the laughs and you have your rights to protest. Naw, seriously fuck you douche bags, go play nut job games with the Westboro Baptist Church who are some of the most demented stupid sick fucks that also piss me off.
Have a nice day, I am going to go edit in car videos from my last car race and.... yeah
I feel I know so much about you Colin. Want to meet up and hold hands???
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